


Idiots in Action

by Emporianne



Category: Transformers Generation One
Genre: also features Astrotrain's bad eyesight as referenced in that one (1) panel of dark cybertron, could be read as romantic or just guys being bros, either way they're both fools and there's a lot of banter, no i will not ever let that go, whatever floats your boat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2020-04-08 10:12:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19105024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emporianne/pseuds/Emporianne
Summary: Skywarp wakes up in the aftermath of a battle and finds himself injured and left behind. No problem! He can call in a pick-up. Unfortunately, his options are limited.





	Idiots in Action

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what else to put for the summary. It's what it says on the tin.
> 
> Italicized text is comm chatter

Skywarp awoke on a ledge.

He groaned as blindingly red error notices flashed to life on the static backdrop of his HUD before his optics had even cycled on. Self-repair protocols hummed to life, attempting to drag him out of emergency stasis. The pain lancing through his leg kicked him fully and unceremoniously back into the world of the online.

  
Slowly, snippets of memories filtered back in as he tried to make sense of where he’d ended up through dim, cracked lenses. He looked to be in...some sort of ravine? If the steep stone walls flanking him and worrying lack of ground beyond his little ledge were anything to go by.

There’d been...some sort of battle, undoubtedly, with the Autobots. Skywarp couldn’t remember what it was about. Actually, he doubted he knew in the first place. He did, however, remember a shot to his thrusters that was so well placed it had erupted the fuel lines feeding into it. He could almost respect that - if only the shot hadn’t cost him most of his right leg. Then there was falling, a very one-sided scuffle with someone obnoxiously yellow, falling again, and finally getting knocked into emergency stasis from a landing so hard he could still feel the impact vibrating through his struts.

The question then was: why hadn’t he been dragged back to base? Decepticons as a whole weren’t really into such acts of charity as helping the injured but inner circles, at least, tended to look after their own. It was one of the few reasons he put up with being under Starscream’s direct command.

Surely his trine mates wouldn’t have thought him that easily killed? Thundercracker at least would’ve taken the time to check. Except…Thundercracker was on forced medical leave until Hook could replace the entirety of one of his turbines. Lucky slagger.

That left Starscream.

Which meant it’d be at least another day before his absence was noticed and he’d get a shrill, long-winded lecture to boot about how much of an idiot he’d been to have gotten grounded in the first place.

Another drawn out groan escaped his lips as Skywarp lifted his head (with excruciating effort) and dropped it back onto the dirt with a frustrated thunk.

He could comm Starscream for a pick-up immediately. However, the prospect of a lecture plus an inevitably rough flight back jostling his injuries gave him pause.

Decisions, decisions.

As he mulled it over, he skimmed through a bullet-pointed damage report scrolling through his HUD. A few minutes without an end to it in sight and Skywarp came to the conclusions that he most definitely could not fly on his own, he barely had enough energy to make one warp, and he would most certainly need to call for help. He huffed with a level of indignation he could not afford and booted up his comm link.

He still wasn’t ready to face the reality of having to call Starscream yet and Thundercracker was in no flying condition. The only other option he had was…Astrotrain, perhaps?

Skywarp sent out the hailing frequency.

A dial tone…two...

"What? " The triplechanger snapped as soon as he connected.

" _Oh, hello Astrotrain, my day’s been great, thanks so much for asking. You’re always so polite_."

"The _day you call me for small talk will be the day Megatron picks a sensible alt mode_ ," he scoffed. " _What do you want?_ "

"Well…I’m _kind of, sort of in some trouble. I know you hate playing transport drone but-_ "

" _Ugh_."

" _Can you come to pick me up?_ "

" _Can’t you warp?_ "

" _Fuel level near critical. I could maybe warp once or twice before I get knocked back into emergency stasis_ ."

"' _Back into_ ' _?_ " He asked, voice raising with some alarm.

" _Oh. Yeah. Didn’t do so hot during the fight._ "

" _What happened?_ "

" _The yellow one happened. Uh...What’s his name…?_ " He drummed his fingers in the dirt as he tried to attach a designation to the bot he only sort of remembered.

" _Bumblebee?_ "

" _Taller yellow one...Ah!_ " He lit up. " _Sunstreaker!_ " The brief surge of excitement in his tone was quickly replaced with annoyance. " _Next time I run into the vapid little dirt-kisser I’m gonna wring his damn neck_ ."

" _...Why?_ "

" _Dunno. It’s a thing the humans say. I’m pretty sure it means that I wanna kill him._ "

" _That sounds like an awfully inefficient way to kill someone. You’ve been watching way too many human shows._ "

" _Shut up, they’re funny, okay?_ ” Skywarp snapped. “ _Can you come to get me or not?_ "

" _Hmmm…_ " He mused, drawing out the sound for longer than necessary.

" _Astroooooooooo,_ " the seeker whined. Astrotrain could almost hear the pout.

" _I dunno…_ " He drawled in reply, " _it’s a pretty long trip to and back._ "

" _...Please?_ "

" _Well, since you asked so nicely, I guess I can spare the fuel._ "

" _It truly brightens my spark knowing you care so much about me_ ," Skywarp deadpanned.

" _Gross_ ."

" _Just...hurry up, would you?_ "

 

* * *

 

It was nearly two hours before Skywarp picked up the telltale roar of shuttle engines overhead.

" _That was not hurrying up_."

" _I’m here aren’t I? Quit whining._ "

" _I’m injured. That gives me whining rights ._ "

" _Don’t let Hook hear you say that…_ " He murmured. " _Anyway, where are you?_ "

" _Uh...somewhere down. I fell into the ravine_ ."

" _That’s helpful_." Still, Astrotrain circled back from his cursory survey of the battlefield to the opening of the ravine. He transformed over the mouth of it and hovered, unwilling to lower himself into the narrow space. It’d be a sure way for him to dent his wingtips if he failed to pay full attention to the unpredictable winding of the rock walls.

"I’m _black and purple metal in the middle of a bunch of stupidly orange rock, how hard can I be to find?_ "

" _There are things called shadows, Skywarp. There are a lot of them down there,_ " He replied, tone mocking, but perhaps unduly so. The triplechanger actually couldn’t see much more than blocks of color. The lack of defining shapes in the ravine did no favors for his eyesight and his GPS wasn’t helping. Not that he was about to admit it. " _Can you...wave your arms or yell or something?_ " 

" _Pfff. Asking an injured mech to perform physical labor. Shameful._ " Nevertheless, Astrotrain heard a staticky grunt over the comm line followed by the scrape of metal against rock. A faint echo of the sound reverberated in the tight space of the canyon, vaguely from his left. Astrotrain followed it. With great effort and even more scuffling, Skywarp managed to heave himself into a sitting position despite the protest of his joints. He looked around, finally having a clear vantage of his surroundings. After all, he wasn’t about to wave his arms around when Astrotrain was nowhere in sight, like some kind of fool. " _Think I can hear your engine. You’re getting warmer._ "

" _How could you possibly tell from the sound of my engine._ "

" _I-_ " Skywarp sputtered. " _It just- It means you’re getting closer._ "

" _Why didn’t you just say that in the first place?_ "

" _It sounds cooler I guess, I don’t know! Do I look like I know why humans say things?_ " He threw his arms up in frustration - Only for his knuckles to smack against a jut in the rocks above him with a resounding clang. " ** _Ow_ ** _!_ "

" _Hah_."

" _Shut up!_ "

" _Ooh, I heard that loud and clear. Keep yelling like that, I think I’m close._ "

" _Do I look like Starscream to you?!_ "

Skywarp heard a snort of amusement over the comm and resisted the urge to smack himself. " _Do you uh,_ "Astrotrain coughed, interrupting a badly stifled snicker, " _do you maybe wanna say that again?_ "

" _Shut up…_ "

" _And actually think about it this time?_ "

He dropped his head back against the ravine wall and dragged his hands down his face in resignation. When Skywarp finally gathered up the will to face reality again, he caught a glimpse of glimmering grey passing above him - half obscured by the uneven rock between them but much too shiny to be anything else but Astrotrain.

" _Hey,_ " He said, " _look down_ ."

" _I’ve_ **_been_ ** _looking down_ ."

Skywarp stuck his arm out to what he assumed must’ve been visible, even accounting for nature and it’s hatred of nice, flat surfaces. " _I’m waving_."

" _Try yelling._ "

“I’M WAVING!” He yelled aloud and cut off in a burst of static as his vocalizer protested the spike in volume. " _Don’t ask me to do that again_ ," the seeker wheezed. 

The comm line was silent. A few seconds dragged by and Skywarp began worrying that something had gone wrong. Then, so faintly that it would’ve been inaudible if the comms weren’t wired directly into his audials, Skywarp heard a beep and the whir of...it sounded like lenses? He waved his arm in wider, hopefully more noticeable, arcs.

" _I...think I see you?_ " Astrotrain ventured, voice too uncertain to be entirely reassuring.

" _Thank god._ "

" _I don’t think I can get to you._ "

" _...Excuse me?_ "

" _You’re too far down, I don’t think I can get to you. I mean..I could get down there_ **_to_ ** _you but it’s too narrow that far down for me to haul you back out_ ."

There was a strained pause.

Skywarp dropped his arm. " _So…_ " He started. 

" _So._ " 

" _What now, then?_ "

Astrotrain cut his thrusters and landed near the lip of the canyon. There was a contemplative hum over the comm line. " _You….said you had one more warp left, yeah?_ "

" _You want me to risk knocking myself out cuz you can’t fit down here? Thought this was s’posed to be a rescue_ ," He mumbled irately.

" _If you got a better idea, feel free to pitch it._ "

Skywarp muttered something undoubtedly venomous and pouty under his breath but Astrotrain couldn’t parse it from the white noise of the comm line.

" _Fine...gimme a sec,_ " He said at last. "Are _you above me? Like, directly above?_ "

Astrotrain leaned over the side and squinted into the chasm. " _Yes…?_ " He hazarded. 

" _Good. Stick out your arms._ "

" _What? Why?_ "

" _Catch me_."

" _What?!_ " Astrotrain cried, disbelieving, but hastily stuck out his arms anyway. " _Don’t be stupid, you’re just gonna hurt yourself more!_ "

**Vop!**

A second passed and when no seeker fell into his arms, Astrotrain felt panic begin to rise. " _Wha- where the frag did you warp to?!_ "

"Behind you." Astrotrain whirled around. “I was kidding. Idiot,” Skywarp scoffed, a smug grin on his lips.

“You are the absolute worst,” The triplechanger huffed, stalking over to where Skywarp was sitting a few meters behind him.

“Love you too,” Skywarp mumbled tiredly as he was scooped up by an arm underneath his wings and another under his knees (knee, technically. There wasn’t much remaining of his right one). “You deserved a good scare,” He continued, kicking Astrotrain’s arm lightly with his remaining foot, “asking me to warp when I’m like this.”

“Would you have preferred it if I had called in someone who could fit down there? Starscream maybe?”

“God, no.” His words were beginning to slur together with exhaustion. “He’s too small to carry me like this.”

“Good to know I can still do my job of being good transportation,” He muttered, taking to the air, smooth and entirely unimpeded by the extra weight as though to give proof to his words.

“You’d be better if you’d actually been able to see me.”

Astrotrain didn’t answer. In fact, he seemed to be looking anywhere but at Skywarp in a pointed refusal to reply. The corner of his lips pulled down in a scowl.

“Oh my god,” Skywarp laughed before it abruptly cut off with a wheeze as his fans audibly strained. “Are your optics actually bad?”

“Don’t-”

“They totally are aren’t they?” He smacked Astrotrain’s chest weakly with the back of his hand. “I know when I’ve hit a nerve with you. Was it why I heard that- that beep or whatever it was? You got some kinda scope mod I don’t know about?”

He leaned closer to Astrotrain’s face, studying it intently, looking for some faint crosshairs in the shuttle’s eyes or perhaps a seam where a retractable lens might slide into.

“Quit staring at me,” Astrotrain hissed after almost a minute of being uncomfortably gawked at. “It was binoculars okay? I use them sometimes.”

Satisfied with the answer, Skywarp relaxed back into the triplechanger’s arms. “Why don’t you just get ‘em replaced?”

“As if they’re gonna waste resources replacing that kinda delicate machinery on me. Never stopped me from doing my job so it’d be pointless.”

“Glasses then?”

“They’d look stupid on me.”

“TC wears ‘em sometimes.”

“He already looks like a nerd, he’s got nothing to lose.”

Another strained, wheezing laugh.

Astrotrain scrutinized the mech lying limply in his arms. His expression softened with some concern. “Power down. We’ll be back to base soon and you look like you crawled outta the Pit.”

“Mmg…fine..” He mumbled, voice already growing fainter as he leaned his head on Astrotrain’s shoulder. “But we’re totally not done with this conversation.”

“Shut up and recharge.”

And - nestling himself further against Astrotrain’s chest and his engines quieting to a passive hum - Skywarp did.

**Author's Note:**

> God, I love writing banter. Haven't had this much fun with a fanfic for a while.  
> Feel free to let me know if you find typos or inconsistencies. 2k words has proven to be too much for me to re-read like...more than eight times so I might've missed some stuff.


End file.
